Stewed Farts & Onions

I’m seemingly stuck in an unending battle between what my children want to eat and what I am prepared to serve them.

They want to eat crisps and chicken nuggets and pizza all doused in an entire bottle of Heinz Tomato Ketchup. I want them to eat something home cooked and palate broadening that has more than a passing acquaintance with the notion of vitamins and nutrition. The list of foods in the centre of that particular Venn diagram feels depressingly small at the minute.

Matters are complicated somewhat by the fact there are so damn many of them. Six in total, from a 15 year old with Type One Diabetes (T1D) and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (PoTS) (which come with their own dietary requirements) down to a 7 month old who has just started weaning (thankfully he appears to have grown out of the milk intolerance that plagued his early months or this would be even more of shitemare). Oh and I need to lose about 2.5 stone and have a husband who thinks a meal isn’t complete unless it has meat in it. Did I mention I’m also trying to get us to eat less meat? This is because A: It’s kinda ruining the planet and B: It’s ruining my bank balance.

Nothing makes my heart sink faster than a chorus of “what’s for dinner?” because it usually followed by complaints about what that dinner is. My own mother used to have three stock answers to the same question. We were alternatively told “boiled blooter”, “stewed farts and onions” or (if it was a special occasion and we’d pushed her particularly hard) “shite with sugar on it”. It’s from these answers that I draw this blog’s name.

What is going to follow is part food diary, part recipe book, part musings on the difficulties of feeding a large family a healthy diet (on a budget).



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